In a single unanticipated moment, as a drunk driver unexpectedly swerved into my lane at high speed, the confident, active, adventurous, physically fit and fiercely independent person I had always been, abruptly ceased to exist. My body survived – just. But as I lay in critical care unable to see, eat, drink, control elimination or even breathe on my own, I began to wonder who survived. My confidence was as shattered as my facial skeleton. And with multiple fractures of my limbs, I was unlikely to ever be as active or adventurous as I’d once been.

Confined to a hospital bed for four months unable to read or watch TV, I could do little else but watch what was going on within me as well as around me. I realized that a healing process, as powerful and important as any physical recovery, was taking place out of sight and sadly unattended. As surgeons reconstructed my face and limbs, I was hard at work trying to reconstruct my self.

Mine has been a story of two parallel journeys of recovery from profound loss. One physical, the other spiritual. In the process, I recovered far more of my physical appearance and function than anticipated and discovered a different person beneath the image I once wore.

Losing Face was written as an invitation to join me on my journey and to share in some of the discoveries I have made along the way. One need not have catastrophic physical injuries to be confronted with a crisis of identity or to embark on a journey of self discovery. Medical professionals get a better understanding of the patient experience. Former patients feel validated, comforted and encouraged. Others confronted with unwelcome change come to accept that “shit happens” and are inspired to make compost so that the seeds for something new can be planted and allowed to grow.

Best Wishes,
Kathy Torpie

Table of Contents • Patient Journey • Spiritual Journey